Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
