dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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