so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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