He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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