Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
