That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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