Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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