I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I skipped work to stalk him.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You can't just leave with hair like that
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
