Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
