too bad you live with your parents still
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
