She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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