At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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