I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
