I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
bring money and cleavage
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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