oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
