Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
