I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
