i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
