White coat. Heels.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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