he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
