Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
