good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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