she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
