I CAN MOONWALK!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
