I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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