What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
