Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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