I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
