Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
