we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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