her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
