Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
