Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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