there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
