Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
