I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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