4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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