I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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