what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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