glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
