Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wear drunk well.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
