I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
