Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
