that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
