he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
