I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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