I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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