She is in my trunk
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
