Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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