Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
