dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
